The Greatest Shit Show on Earth
Are you not entertained?
Welcome to the latest binge-worthy instalment of the endless franchise known as “The Forever Wars”.
“Iran: The Shit Hits the Fan”, created alongside the hit series “Palestinian Genocide: It’s Not a Genocide”, will be broadcast live for your viewing pleasure by the same producers who brought us “Iraq: Weapons of Mass Deception” and the long-running series “Afghanistan: Return of the Taliban” that ran for a record-breaking twenty consecutive years until its abrupt and dramatic surprise ending.
And who could forget Libya, Syria, Lebanon, Yemen, Somalia, and the many other riveting productions of the Empire? Grab your synthetically buttered popcorn and favourite effervescent sugary beverage because “The Greatest Shit Show on Earth” rambles on!
Freedom! Fuck Yeah!
The newest instalment of “The Forever Wars” franchise promises bigger bombs, cooler drones, more diverse proxies, and the usual gang of quirky propagandists in the mainstream media babbling about “defence”, “security,” “regional stability”, and their all-time favourite buzzwords “freedom and democracy”!
Spoiler alert: “The Forever Wars” isn’t about any of those things!
The potential final instalment of the franchise, “Iran: The Shit Hits the Fan”, has been in pre-production for several decades and is rumoured to have a very explosive (but predictable) ending. Stay tuned!
Let’s Talk about Bombs, Baby!
Bombs are profitable. Bombs are bipartisan. Bombs are “da bomb”. Big, beautiful bombs that are signed by politicians before being dropped on innocent civilians, including children. “Human shields” as Israel and the IDF (the most moral army on Earth) insist that you affirm. You’re anti-Semitic if you dead-name the “human shields”, even though they’re literally dead.
Zionist Viagra
Every phallic bomb, every penetrating bullet, every sexy drone strike, sends blood to their flaccid schlongs. More destruction equals more profits, and more death equals more hard-ons. Nothing excites a Zionist more than enacting collective punishment on a civilian population and celebrating a good old-fashioned mass human sacrifice. Those are just some of the perks enjoyed by a death cult doing “freedom and democracy” business for the global Empire. And how’s business these days? Booming!
Member Discretion is Strongly Advised
The Empire’s “NATO Prime” has become the world’s most expensive and heavily armed subscription service. Member countries don’t actually need a reason to keep paying, they just need enough manufactured enemies to justify the monthly invoice. Free shipping and quick delivery of NATO-approved weapons (made in the USA) are offered to Prime members only.
If your country’s broke, no need to worry. Financing is available. The heavy cost of your new American-made military hardware will simply be added to your national debt for future generations to pay. With interest, of course. The Empire’s banking cartel always gets a piece of the action.
And what’s their message to those of us who oppose the endless wars? Human beings with hopes and dreams of a better future for ourselves and our families? Those of us who work hard every day as billionaire psychopaths launder our tax money through “The Forever Wars” franchise?
Sit Down, Shut Up, and Enjoy the Show!
Israel, the Empire’s heavily subsidized colonial project in the Middle East, is reprising its usual role as perpetual victim with Oscar-worthy dedication. Ever since its inception, it’s been the Empire’s most expensive and controversial production, murdering and displacing millions of human beings across the Middle East along with its powerful vassal country and arms dealer, the UZA. (United Zionists of America).
Israel is always ready to “defend” itself with preemptive airstrikes, blockades, land theft, dispossession, starvation, mass murder, and some of the most precision-engineered propaganda the world has ever seen. Netanyahu and the IDF have given us Academy Award performances that will undoubtably be talked about for generations to come.
You Have No Cards
Iran is now the main focus of “The Greatest Shit Show on Earth”. Always lurking, always menacing, always weeks away from having a nuke, conveniently standing in as the new supervillain ever since “Russia, Russia, Russia” saw their ratings plummet in recent months.
The Empire almost canceled the controversial series after dwindling interest and a public falling-out between the Show’s bombastic American lead and their flamboyant Ukrainian star, a comedian who doesn’t play cards but plays piano with his penis.
Since the Shit Show must go on, fans were able to pridefully raise their Ukrainian flags once again and continue to watch the endless death and destruction of the “Russia, Russia, Russia” series from the comfort of their living rooms.
We are Paying for the Grift
Here’s the kicker: “The Greatest Shit Show on Earth” is funded by us. The taxpayers, the workers, the human beings whose sacred energy and life force are being drained by parasites in a global death cult who enrich their lives at the expense of humanity itself.
They keep us overworked, exhausted, distracted, hopeless, and controlled. The blood, sweat, and tears that we spill in our lifetime keeps their multi-million dollar yachts and private islands afloat. Our future and children’s future gets mortgaged for the next contract to “rebuild” what the bombs obliterated. Sadly, there’s no rebuilding the children who’ve had their limbs blown off by the bombs we paid for.
Iran: The Shit Hits the Fan
This new series, just like the rest of “The Forever Wars” franchise, isn’t about heroes and villains. It’s just another repetitive instalment of “The Greatest Shit Show on Earth”. A global circus run by an insane clown posse of billionaires who create their wealth from endless war and global chaos. How many more innocent souls need to be extinguished before their bloodlust is satisfied?
Meanwhile, as these vampiric entities live in the lap of luxury at our expense, we who keep the world functioning every day become poorer, sicker, more surveilled, more controlled, and more propagandized than ever before.
While You were Sleeping
They’ve been very active. In these uncertain and dangerous times, one can only hope and pray that humanity wakes up to the truth before it’s too late. As the grift gets exposed, perhaps “The Forever Wars” franchise may finally get cancelled once and for all.
Because without the support of fans, “The Greatest Shit Show on Earth” cannot survive and will eventually fade to black.
One can only hope.